Green Peace or Why the Hulk is saving our climate
by DracosDNA
Summary: Not only that Bruce hasn't slept very well - Tony wants him to guess his favorite plant while sitting in the kitchen. Later, Bruce finds himself sitting in the lab with sunflowers in his hair and having to listen to Tony telling him about being good for the climate. This is an authorized translation from German.


**A/N:** I do not own this story, Witness from owns it. This story is an authorized translation from German. Thanks to Witness for allowing me to translate and for doing the beta on the translation.

You can read the original, german story here: www. fanfiktion .de/s/557889af0002b7996df6021/1/Green-Peace-oder-Warum-der-Hulk-unser-Klima-rettet (you will have to remove the spaces)

Neither of us owns the Avengers and everything that belongs to that.

As I am no native speaker, I apologize for any mistakes. R&R please.

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 **Green Peace or Why the Hulk is saving our climate**

"Have I ever told you how much I admire the wildlife of this state? Mainly the flora. I think I am totally a botanist!"

"Oh well," Bruce said. He had not slept very well the night before and was now sitting in the kitchen in the 17th floor of Stark Tower, a cup of coffee in his hand, looking outside at the dark clouds while being deep in thought.

"When I was a kid, I'd been the leader of the _"_ _Young Botanists_ ". We often went to the grassland and collected plants to classify and catalog. During high school, I invented a fertilizer which kept the lawn in front of our school healthy and green, even if there was a drought. The most beautiful roses would grow on that lawn, there were red ones, yellow ones, violet ones, striped ones, some with the silhouette of Che Guevara, and you're not listening to me."

"Hum, what?," Bruce asked, turning his head towards Tony and looking at him absentminded. "Ah, of course, Che Guevara. The Cuban history is not my cup of tea, actually." He smiled sheepishly and Tony rolled his eyes. "I was talking about plants, but whatever. By the way, I have a favorite plant. Have a guess."

The scientist shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of coffee. "Shouldn't we begin? The arc reactor will provide energy for the tower for about a month from now, probably not even a month. We should come up with something quickly, if we don't want to be in the dark."

"Okay". Tony raised his hands. "But first, you will guess which plant it is."

Bruce studied his cup clueless, as if the solution would be there. "No idea ... Cyclamen, probably?"

The engineer shook his head. "No. But ... let me give you a hint. It's green ..."

"Green," Bruce repeated.

"And big," Tony added. "And angry."

"Angry?" Bruce replied pretty bewildered. "A Venus flytrap?"

Tony shook his head once more. "Okay, one more hint: It's big, green, angry, it sometimes smashes things, and has saved me from falling down from space and getting shattered on the sidewalk. Well?"

The scientist gave him a glare that clearly expressed ' _Are you kidding me?'_

"You got it," Tony shouted and jumped up beaming with joy. " _You_ are my favorite plant!"

"Uhm, Tony ... What did we agree on about drinking in the morning?"

Tony sat down again. "No, I'm serious! Has that really never attracted you attention? You don't turn green because sickness. The solution is: Chloroplasts, my dear! And what do chloroplasts do? Right, they're performing photosynthesis!"

"You're kidding," Bruce murmured.

"No, I'm serious. And considering this, you're a boon for climate."

"I don't get it," the scientist said wearily, emptied his cup of coffee and filled it again.

"Man, you disappoint me. Photosynthesis! That means when you're angry, you convert carbon dioxide into oxygen. Therefore, the Hulk is the most eco-friendly monster in the world."

"Could you pass me the newspaper, please," Bruce demanded in order to switch the topic.

"Sure. Here you are," the engineer replied and passed him the New York Times which captioned ' _Climate summit fails to make decisions again_ '. Bruce sighed.

"See, that's what I'm talking about," Tony said. "You could stop the climate change by simply getting angry. There aren't many people with such a talent."

"Tony, stop it," Bruce replied testily.

"Why? I'm only telling the truth. Brazil's going to say: We have a rain forest. I'll say: We have a Hulk. Sounds great, doesn't it?"

Bruce looked at Tony for a while, stood up and left the kitchen without any further expression.

Bruce woke up and looked around irritated. Had he actually fallen asleep in the lab? Apparently, he had, otherwise his head would not rest upon the table. He sat up and rubbed his neck as he realized that something had fallen out of his hair. He bent over in curiosity and picked it up. It was a yellow petal. Intuitively, he ruffled through his hair and felt some more petals. He stood up, ran out of the lab while shouting "Tony?", and finally found him in the living room, sitting on the sofa with a tablet computer in his hand. "Tony," Bruce said accusingly. "Why there are sunflowers in my hair?"

Tony put away the tablet, turned around and grinned. "Do you remember my favorite plant? I really like it, but there's one shortcoming: There are no blossoms. And I felt obligated to change that." He hunched his shoulders innocently.

"Dummy", Bruce mumbled, shook his head to make the petals fall down and threw some of them at the engineer. Tony drew back deeper into the sofa and lifted his hands in defense.

"Woah! Now I'm scared!"

The scientist had to smile. "I guess you don't want to make me angry, huh?"

"To be honest, I want to. Photosynthesis, saving the climate, and stuff."

"You're crazy," Bruce said in laughter and held his hands in front of his face in order not to get hit by the flowers Tony threw at him.

"Come on, does this make you angry, does this make you angry, huh?," Tony asked teasingly while keeping up on throwing flowers at him. Bruce laughed and let himself fall on the sofa next to the engineer. "Give me a break."

Tony paused. "You're looking tired," he said sternly.

Bruce shrugged. "Apparently, I am a plant, and plants don't need any sleep."

Tony tilted his head and looked at him for a while. "I think we can make an exception this time," he said.

"You think we can overrule the natural laws that simply?," the scientist asked mockingly.

"I don't know," Tony replied. "Try to."

Bruce leaned back and closed his eyes. He stayed like that for a while, then his head slipped sideward until it came to rest on Tony's shoulder who regarded him for a long time. As he was sure that Bruce had actually fallen asleep, the engineer took some petals that were still lying on the sofa and placed them on Bruce's head carefully.

"Let us save the climate on another day, okay?," the scientist mumbled with his eyes closed.

"Okay," Tony whispered, leaned his head against Bruce's and closed his eyes as well.

Who would even need a working arc reactor when one could sit side by side with one's favorite plant?

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[ _A small anecdote:_

 _Recently, I looked over my old biology stuff and found a worksheet with a cell on it. Back then, we had to find out by the characteristics, if the given cell was derived from an animal or a plant. My class was pretty clueless because the picture did show all characteristics of a human cell, but additional it had chloroplasts. Somebody said: "This is a cell of the Hulk!" - the class burst out laughing but the teacher said "You're right", and the class fell silent._ ]


End file.
